It's a regrettable thing really, that moment when you realize that you're no longer wishing to go back to being that kid digging for worms in the dirt but instead you see that you're still the same kid, it's just not dirt you're digging in anymore... and those aren't worms. I feel that I'm not alone in occasionally fantasizing about going back to the simpler times, back when your biggest worry was how to entertain yourself next or if mom is going to be mad about the grass stains on your jeans. When was it exactly that our priorities shifted from the frivolous and lighthearted woes of the wonder years to the mundane complexities of daily living? It seems as though it happened overnight. One day we're counting the seconds until recess and the next we're banking on Friday's paycheck for a place to sleep. For lack of a better term, shit got real, and it happened so fast and with such vehemence that ever since that day we've been surfacing, one breath at a time, solely focused on survival that we forgot we knew how to swim.
We sleepwalk through week after week, only taking the time to do any real living from Friday to Sunday. We're so worn down from the monotony of day to day that we actually look forward to and set aside time to literally do nothing. What happened to being utterly captivated by hitting rocks with a stick or a playing card in the spokes of your bicycle?
Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness, a phrase we are all familiar with, the inalienable rights bestowed upon us by our creator. While "we" find these things to be self evident, I personally find them a bit long winded, not unlike myself. "How dare he," you might say, well I dare and here's why. The focus, in life as well as in the aforementioned anecdote, lies in the pursuit of happiness, the thrill, the chase, the hard work hoping to reap the reward. We become so enthralled with the pursuit that we can't just let ourselves find happiness. We are always chasing, always striving, never taking the time to just sit down in introspection and see if you've already caught it. Sound cliche'? Maybe...Off base? I don't think so.
As a kid I was always chasing something whether it be a dog, or a ball, or a bug. I was always on the run heedless of where I was heading. You'd think that is something I would grow out of but in actuality I see now that it's something we all grow into. We continuously graduate to chase bigger and better things. My personal affinity happened to lie in butterflies. I've chased them all my life, from fields around my house, to the small of a girls back, to the irritatingly addictive ones that show up in your stomach from time to time. The trouble with butterflies is that even though you may catch them you can never hold on to them for very long. They die, or you lose interest, or they just flutter away. You get so caught up in the thrill of chasing that next one that you never really appreciate the one you've got. Lost in the thralls of the chase, the only time you stop to take a breath is to look back to see how you got here, or look forward to see where you're going, but if you could take a second you might see that your right where you need to be... or you could be standing in shit. This is all circumstantial after all.
None of this means that I am condemning ambition or begrudging you your particular flights of fancy. After all, chasing things can be a hell of a lot of fun, but as they say, "everything in moderation." While the chase may lead you to where you want to be, make sure you're not moving too fast to recognize it when you get there.In other words, enjoy life, take your liberties, and be wary while in pursuit of butterflies.
